Ten Tips for a Great First Day of School!

March 24th, 2008

Many children are jittery on the first day of school. Listed are ways to prepare your child for the big day!

-Read books about school.

-Talk to other children about school, especially siblings or neighborhood

friends. These “experts” can help answer any questions your child might ask.

-Visit the school and the classroom prior to the first day.

-Introduce your child to the new teacher before the first day of school.

-Use structure to foster independence.

*Establish a regular bedtime at least two weeks before the start of

school.

*Establish an unhurried morning routine to help your child get ready-

and feel ready-to take on the school day.

-Practice the school drop-off and pick-up procedure with your child.

-Play school! Role play imagined school scenes, such as asking restroom

permission or walking quietly in the hall.

-Transitional objects encourage and support the child through the school day.

*Select school supplies together, such as backpacks or lunchboxes.

*Place a family photo or special note inside your child’s lunchbox.

-Plan to say good-bye quickly. Children are quick to “pick up” signs of

hesitation by parents and may become upset. MAKE THE SEPARATION CLEAN.”

-Take a short time out at the end of the day and discuss your child’s big

adventure!

Congratulations! You made it through Day One!

Even the most prepared child may have

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Developing a Fantastic Relationship with Your Child

March 23rd, 2008

Here’s a scene: A parent “might suddenly grab a happliy playing child and shower him with excited hugs and kisses without warning.” What’s wrong with this picture?

I would say that, simply, the parent is not in synch with the child in the case described above. The parent is not on the same page. Yes, parents have to move over to their child’s page to be “on the same page”, not the other way around, starting in infancy. Parents who have no history of being treated with any sensitivity at all will have a hard time with this. But–here’s the clincher–giving up is not an option! Here is how to practice getting more and more able to “read” what page someone is on

Step 1: Guess what they’re thinking/experiencing at the moment and explain to yourself why you think so.

Step 2: Check it out with the person. In a very casual way, just say, “You know, I want to be a more aware person. I’m trying to understand you a little better, so I hope you’ll help me. What I’m trying to do now is guess how you feel and why. Can I run by you what I came up with?”

Step 3:

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14 Romantic Time-Outs for Parents

March 22nd, 2008

Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you pay the small attentions that are so integral to lasting intimacy.

Day One:
Spend 15 minutes kissing. Many married couples report that the simple act of kissing is the first part of intimacy to disappear. Today, recapture the power of the smooch.

Day Two:
Today, declare a personal moratorium on criticism. Pay attention to the number of negative thoughts you have about the actions of your spouse. How critical are you? How does being critical make you feel? Even when we don’t give voice to our criticism, it drains our energy and keeps us focused on negative thoughts.

Day Three:
Call, email, or write your mother-in-law (or send a simple bouquet of flowers). Let her know how grateful you are for her child.

Day Four:
Spoon.

Day Five:
Reflect on your first date with your mate, writing down as many details as you can remember. Now make plans to recreate it.

Day Six:
Spend tonight in your guest room. Pretend that you and your spouse are on a romantic vacation in a distant port.

Day Seven:
What’s your spouse’s favorite cookie? Bake a batch.

Day Eight:
Tape-record a love message–sexy or sentimental–on

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Advising Teens? Getting Your Point Across

March 20th, 2008

Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a teenager to take that advice is another matter altogether. It’s not only a case of the advice ‘falling on deaf ears’, sometimes the teenager seems to go deliberately out of their way to do the exact opposite, that’s when you know you’ve got a problem. So how do you go about giving advice to a teen?

The short answer to this question is “don’t”. Now at first glance this probably sounds ridiculous, after all parents have more experience of life and most would agree that a parent’s job is to pass this experience onto their children.

But the problem with giving advice is that it’s really just a way of maintaining control. We often cover it up by saying we know what’s best in the situation, we have the experience and knowledge, but in reality what we’re saying is what we want to happen, this is what we want you to do.

Adolescence is a time for learning to self-manage, to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. It’s an essential process if your teen is to become a well-adjusted, fully functioning adult ready for the 21st century. And a fundamental part of

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Maturing As a Parent

March 19th, 2008

I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the 16 year-olds are twins!) My older son just mailed his college deposit and will leave for school sometime in August. Thinking back over the past few years, I’ve just realized my children have been spreading their wings to fly away for sometime now.

Your life begins to change as your child enters high school, whether you like it or not. Boy, did I not like the changes. Many of your family’s practices change, just because your children won’t always be around for them. Accepting these changes as gracefully as possible is part of your maturation as a parent.

Family dinners were our first casualty. I grew up in a family that dined together every day, especially at dinner. We continued that practice when our children were younger. But sports practices, play rehearsals, invitations to friends’ houses began to leave kids’ places vacant at the dinner table. Or you’ll get exactly the opposite ? everyone’s girlfriend or boyfriend comes over unexpectedly for dinner. I’ve learned to plan plenty for dinner, and then enjoy leftovers for lunch the next day if everyone isn’t here.

Family vacations were our second casualty. Summer school, sports camps, pre-season

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From Good to GREAT: Secrets On Becoming A Better Dad

March 18th, 2008

While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they can, all too often life just seems to get in the way. Missed soccer games and bedtime stories, always "In a minute" or "Later" when asked to play. The years pass, and many are left to wonder why their kids don’t seem to make time for THEM any more.

As fathers, if we are to succeed in creating strong meaningful lasting bonds with our children, we need to find balance in our lives, and to ensure we make time for our family-letting them get to know the real us. No time? Don’t worry! It’s easier than you think. Here are seven easy ways to add quality time to your week:

I will cut back on the amount of work I bring home. This will give you more time to spend with your kids at night and on the weekends. While you might not be able to accomplish quite as much work, you will still be able to maintain a good reputation with customers and peers. Still have some work you need to finish at home? Try to wait until the kids are asleep before starting it. If this is not possible, explain

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How Kids Learn To Cooperate In Video Games — A Guide for Parents and Teachers

March 17th, 2008

A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games their kids play are teaching the kids "negative" messages such as aggression, violence, and isolation from real people. I want to illustrate here how computer and video game playing, can have positive effects on kids. This includes even the "addictive" game playing associated with many of these games. The learning from these games is well worth the effort the kids put in playing them, and kids typically sense this at some level, which is one reason they fight so hard for their games.

One key lesson many of their games is teaching them is the value of people working together and helping each other. To illustrate how this occurs, I will use one particular game, Toontown, as an example.

Toontown (www.toontown.com) is the Walt Disney Company’s entry into the Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (MMORPG) category. For the non-initiated, that means a computer game that supports thousands of players online simultaneously, all of whom can see and interact with each other. A key feature of these worlds is that they are "persistent," meaning that the worlds continue to exist and change whether or not you are there, just any other

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Babys First Month at a Glance

March 16th, 2008

Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your baby home and are pretty excited about everything. Perhaps you don’t even mind the fact that getting a good night’s sleep is getting tougher by the day.

Getting into a routine

This is not easy, but rest assured, it will happen. By the end of the first month, new parents discover that their baby lets them slip into a comfortable (but exhausting) routine. If this is your first baby, you probably feel totally amateurish. Relax, let your baby’s cues guide you and very soon you will be a seasoned pro!

Rock-a-bye baby

Your baby will probably sleep 12-18 hours a day between regular feedings. If you are lucky, your baby will sleep for longer stretches at night. Do not let your one-month old baby sleep through the night. At this age, infants need to feed at least every 2-3 hours for healthy development. Regular feeds are also important in stimulating your milk supply, which will get established during the first month.

Baby is growing

By the end of one month, your baby should be able to focus on faces, lift his head briefly when on stomach, and probably startle in response to a loud noise. All

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The Neurology of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Part One

March 15th, 2008

What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

The most recent models describing what is happening in the brains of people with Attention Deficit Disorder suggest that several areas of the brain may be affected by the disorder. These impacted areas include the frontal lobes, the inhibitory mechanisms of the cortex, the limbic system, and the reticular activating system. Each of these areas of the brain is associated with specific functions.

The frontal lobes help us to pay attention to tasks, focus concentration, make good decisions, plan ahead, learn and remember what we have learned, and behave appropriately for a given situation.

The inhibitory mechanisms of the cortex keep us from being hyperactive, from saying things out of turn, and from getting mad at inappropriate times, for examples. They help us to “inhibit” our behaviors. It has been said that 70% of the brain is there to inhibit the other 30% of the brain. When the inhibitory mechanisms of the brain aren’t working as hard as they ought to, then we can see results of what are sometimes called “dis-inhibition disorders” such as impulsive behaviors, quick temper, poor decision making, hyperactivity, and so on.

The limbic

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Managing Sibling Rivalry

March 14th, 2008

It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward others. A moderate spirit of competition is a positive and productive attribute in school and in business. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up in families. The competition between siblings starts when the second child is born. Unfortunately, many parents ignore it and some even make the situation worse.

When occasional fighting becomes a constant series of arguments and fights, it must be dealt with to avoid years of discord and even potential danger. Here are some tips that will help you lessen your frustration over argumentative brothers and sisters and help them learn to get along better.

Do your best to offer each of your children equal amounts of praise and attention. This is true if they are competing for your attention or if they are participating in a school or sports activity.

Encourage your children to participate in activities that they truly enjoy. Don’t expect them to always join activities that they must do together or where they will be competing against each other.

Children sometimes perceive that their parents favor one child over the others. While some parents do prefer one child to the others, it is usually not

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