How to Speak Love Language #3: Quality Time
Dr. Chapman told a story of how a child’s love tank can only be filled by undivided attention – quality time:
Four-year-old Sara is pulling on her mother’s leg. “Mommy, Mommy, let’s go play!” “I can’t play right now,” Ginny says, “I must finish making this potato salad. I’ll play with you after that. Go play by yourself for a few minutes and then we’ll do something together.” In five minutes, Sara is back, begging to play. Ginny responds, “Sweetie, I told you that I have to finish this salad first. Now, run along and I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Sara leaves the room but in four minutes she is back. Eventually the potato salad is done and the two have their playtime together. But Ginny knows that the scenario will be repeated tomorrow.
Do you ever come across this kind of situation? Your child often request your being with them just when you are busy, exhausted, or rushed. If so, your child’s primary love language could be quality time. “Even if your child’s primary love language is not quality time, many children crave the undivided attention of parents” remarked by Dr. Chapman. Ever wonder “if Ginny had given Sara fifteen minutes of quality time before she started the potato salad, she probably could have prepared the salad in peace.”
Quality time is:
- a parent’s gift to a child, saying, “You are important. I like being with you.”
- doing something together, being together.
- to provide focused attention almost anywhere, and a time being alone with your child.
What should be included in quality time?
- Should include pleasant, loving eye contact.
- Knowing our child better.
- Spending time with your child will often lead to good conversation about everything related to your lives, from day-to-day to moral and spiritual issues. It will benefit your child to learn how to communicate well in their future relationship, including marriage, work associates.
How to have quality time with your child?
- Set story reading time. All children love stories. Reading to your child is a great way to begin your bedtime ritual because this will help to keep communication open when they become teenagers.
- Plan for quality time with your child: regular family dinner together, breakfast together, overnight trips or any other creative ideas that you can work out.
- Well prepare yourself for quality time, especially after a pressured workday.
Last but not least, spending quality time with our children will ensure that they feel loved and create uplifting memories for the rest of their lives.
Related articles:
Know How to Speak the Love Language
How to Speak Love Language #1: Physical Touch
How to Speak Love Language #2: Words of Affirmation
How to Speak Love Language #4 Gifts
How to Speak Love Language #5 Acts of Service