Flying Down the Road or “Where Are My peanuts?” (Ages 3-8)
“He hit me! Stay on your side! Stop making faces! He’s teasing me! He took my…“
“EXCUSE ME! This is your Captain speaking. You have just boarded PDQ Airlines, flight 1234, non-stop service to the corner market. We will be departing shortly, and flying at an altitude of 23,000 feet, at a speed of 600 miles an hour. Our in-flight movie will be The Simpsons Meet the Flintstones. Please sit back and enjoy the flight. And oh by the way, failure to comply with the ‘No Fighting and Teasing’ sign could result in the pilot’s wish to fly this airplane into the ground.”
Let’s face it, it’s a great solution in an environment of few options, when you’re traveling in the car with the young ones. You can’t send them to their room. You can’t talk to them face to face. You can’t blow up, lose your cool, and risk personal injury; or worse, knock over your commuter mug of coffee into your lap. You have squelched a squabble, and begun a game that will test their imaginations and challenge their creativity—and keep them from grabbing each other’s throats.
Your children can be the copilots: “We’re flying high up. We’re flying fast. Put on your seat belt. Where’s the landing gear?”
They can be the flight attendants: “Here are the peanuts. Here is some water. Here is the blanket—go to sleep.”
They can be the passengers: “Where are we? Are we there yet? Where are my peanuts?” (Well, it’s not so much what they say, it’s the fact they are civil and quite possibly imaginative.)
To get you started on the road—I mean the air—here are 11 terms from the, Airplane-Automobile dictionary, to help bring realism to your excursion.
1. Pushing away from the gate (leaving the garage).
2. Taxiing to the runway (going down the street).
3. Taking-off (accelerating onto the expressway).
4. Ascending (going up the hill).
5. Banking (turning left or right).
6. Turbulence (hitting a pothole).
7. Autopilot (cruise control).
8. Circling (at a stoplight).
9. Flaps down (sun-visor down).
10. Landing (decelerating off the expressway).
11. Arriving at the gate (pulling into a parking spot).
Sure, I know. What do you do when your children are acting up on a real airplane? Well, that’s easy. Order a drink, ask for some peanuts, and put on your headphones.
Rex Bowlby is the father of two boys. He is the author of the book, Why Would I Want the Toy, When I Can Have the Box? (101 Ways to Make the Most of Your Children, With the Least from Your Wallet*) *For parents with children ages 3-8. www.whytoybook.com. He lives in Los Angeles, California, USA.