What is temperament?

One of the excellent books on temperament, entitled Know Your Child, must be mentioned here. This classic book is an investigation report of a 30-year study of children growing into adulthood, the New York Longitudinal Study, that was led by psychiatrists Stella Chess and Alexander Thomas. They found that babies not only differ significantly from one another at the moment of birth, those differences also tend to be rather persistent throughout childhood. They also observed that those differences are innate personality traits that determine how a child learns and responds to the world around him/her. They identified that there are 9 temperamental traits:

Activity Level:
Low – content to sit still, quietly watch, play with things quietly
High – restless, moving all the time

Distractibility:
Low – not easily distracted by other things, have good concentration, know how to entertain himself/herself
High – easily distracted by things around, easily soothed when upset by being offered something else

Intensity:
Low – whimper when upset or even keep quiet, laugh quietly when happy
High – show strong response even to minor things and have strong emotional reactions, like scream, cry or laugh loudly

Regularity:
Regular – eat or sleep at unpredictable time, no routine
Irregular – eat or sleep at the same time everyday

Sensory Threshold:
Low – not bothered by loudness and many other things around
High – sensitive to sound, taste, smell, sound, light, picky-eaters

Approach/Withdrawal:
Approach – eagerly approach new situations or people
Withdrawal – seem hesitant and resistant when faced with new situations, people or things

Adaptability:
Good – easily adapt to changes, don’t mind if routines are changed
Poor – have difficulty with changes in routines or activities

Persistence:
Low – give up easily
High – continue to work on one activity even though it’s tough, such as tough puzzles, react strongly when interrupted

Mood:
Positive – focus on the positive aspects of life, generally happy
Negative – focus on the negative aspects of life, easily cranky

Is my child easy or difficult to raise?

Dr. Robert Myers has designed an easy-to-read chart to help you identify your child’s temperamental traits. Of course, you can go for a more professional assessment if you like. I think this chart is simple and good enough to give you an idea on how easy or difficult your child is to raise.

Rate your child on each of these 9 temperamental traits to see where your child would be. If your child weighs more heavily on one side of the spectrum than the other, he may be a “difficult child” or “easy child”. Otherwise, your child may be “the slow-to-warm up” child if he weighs somewhere in between.

Here are the ideas of coping with your child’s temperament:

Modify our expectation to match children’s temperamental traits. Don’t demand those traits that he/she wasn’t born with because these are the things you can’t change. What can be changed is our expectation and reaction. For example, my daughter is very artistic and has high level of sensitivity in taste and colours. She would be easily disappointed and picky with the food I cook for her. I just don’t take it personally even when she’s a bit of cranky. And I don’t expect her like my son who eats every kind of food I put in front of him.

Even though you have a “difficult child”, there is always a way to deal with. The critical part is to find a “good-fit” way of parenting your difficult child. But you must prepare to take more time and effort than other parents. Don’t compare or have a feeling that you are not a good parent if you have tried your best.

Talk to someone you trust when you feel frustrated in parenting a difficult child. Get support from your family, friends or advice from professionals if you need it.

Related article:
Why Should I Know My Child’s Temperament?

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 7th, 2006 at 5:19 am and is filed under Behavior, Development, How-to Tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.