Comments on: Banishing Bedtime Blues http://www.parentingideas.org/articles/general/banishing-bedtime-blues/ To Inspire with Ideas and Practical Tips on Parenting Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:07:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Jo http://www.parentingideas.org/articles/general/banishing-bedtime-blues/#comment-69847 Jo Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:02:25 +0000 http://www.parentingideas.org/articles/general/banishing-bedtime-blues/#comment-69847 My first two children were 18 months apart. From the time my eldest was 3 till 5 yrs of age, bedtime was a nightmare. Their routine was predictable. Dinner-shower-brush teeth-hop into bed-have book read-kiss and cuddle goodnight. This was their routine since the moment they went into a bed. And the routine after saying goodnight was predictable as well. Sometimes they would come out of their rooms consistently for up to three hours! Both of them. One after the other (separate rooms) or both at the same time. Every night was the same. It was so frustrating. They never got the drink they asked for, they never got what they wanted. THey got guided back to bed or told to go back to bed. I couldnt understand why on earth they would continue to rebound out of their beds when their reception was so cranky. I was patient for the first few times but I can tell you that after an hour of repeatedly leading them back to bed my mood deteriorated rapidly. Especially considering this behaviour was long standing you may understand why my patience was so thin on this topic. Anyway, I read a book that explained it was quite simply attention seeking behaviour and the only way to stop the problem was to completely and utterly ignore them. I was at wits end and the book made sense. So I DID it. I didnt talk to them AT ALL. I didnt look at them AT ALL. When they stood in front of the TV to block my view I just turned the TV off and went to my room. I played deaf , dumb, and blind. My youngest child learnt in just one night! SHe was three and half by then. One night! Granted it was one stressful horrible night as she pulled on all her tricks of the trade to get my attention. The preschooler took longer. It took her three nights and I can tell you those three nights were pure hell. Both husband and I put ourselves in our bedroom after a while. We had no lock on the door so had to brace ourselves against it to stop her opening it. She bashed on the door, she screamed, cried, yelled, banged. She tried everything and got zero response. Lights getting flicked on and off. Toys thrown. Pleasantly pleading with us. Foot stamping, door thudding. Everything she could think of that would annoy us. And she lasted hours. WE were exhausted and need ed to sleep. It was hard work staying awake and keeping that door shut, our eyes were stinging with tiredness. The next night was the same. And the night after. I can tell you, it was difficult. Especially with a new baby we were trying to keep asleep! And the embarrassment of her noise echoing around the neighbourhood. But on night four we read the book and said goodnight (as we had done for years) and she happily went to sleep. And never a problem since (they are now 12 and 13). My two children that followed were great at going to bed (as I never let the bad habit develop). So of course I cant recommend this enough. Deaf, dumb and blind. It's not easy but it works and it works quickly (if you look at days rather than hours hehe) JO My first two children were 18 months apart. From the time my eldest was 3 till 5 yrs of age, bedtime was a nightmare. Their routine was predictable. Dinner-shower-brush teeth-hop into bed-have book read-kiss and cuddle goodnight. This was their routine since the moment they went into a bed. And the routine after saying goodnight was predictable as well. Sometimes they would come out of their rooms consistently for up to three hours! Both of them. One after the other (separate rooms) or both at the same time. Every night was the same. It was so frustrating. They never got the drink they asked for, they never got what they wanted. THey got guided back to bed or told to go back to bed. I couldnt understand why on earth they would continue to rebound out of their beds when their reception was so cranky. I was patient for the first few times but I can tell you that after an hour of repeatedly leading them back to bed my mood deteriorated rapidly. Especially considering this behaviour was long standing you may understand why my patience was so thin on this topic. Anyway, I read a book that explained it was quite simply attention seeking behaviour and the only way to stop the problem was to completely and utterly ignore them. I was at wits end and the book made sense. So I DID it.

I didnt talk to them AT ALL. I didnt look at them AT ALL. When they stood in front of the TV to block my view I just turned the TV off and went to my room. I played deaf , dumb, and blind. My youngest child learnt in just one night! SHe was three and half by then. One night! Granted it was one stressful horrible night as she pulled on all her tricks of the trade to get my attention.

The preschooler took longer. It took her three nights and I can tell you those three nights were pure hell. Both husband and I put ourselves in our bedroom after a while. We had no lock on the door so had to brace ourselves against it to stop her opening it. She bashed on the door, she screamed, cried, yelled, banged. She tried everything and got zero response. Lights getting flicked on and off. Toys thrown. Pleasantly pleading with us. Foot stamping, door thudding. Everything she could think of that would annoy us. And she lasted hours. WE were exhausted and need ed to sleep. It was hard work staying awake and keeping that door shut, our eyes were stinging with tiredness. The next night was the same. And the night after. I can tell you, it was difficult. Especially with a new baby we were trying to keep asleep! And the embarrassment of her noise echoing around the neighbourhood. But on night four we read the book and said goodnight (as we had done for years) and she happily went to sleep. And never a problem since (they are now 12 and 13). My two children that followed were great at going to bed (as I never let the bad habit develop).

So of course I cant recommend this enough. Deaf, dumb and blind. It’s not easy but it works and it works quickly (if you look at days rather than hours hehe)

JO

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