A Win-Win Solution to Sibling Rivalry
My son and daughter go along with each other very well. I always enjoy seeing them talking about many things, from popular songs to movies, from daily trivia to career aspirations. However, now and then they fight over something that seems “important” to them –that’s coke. You might not believe it. That’s their big issue, I mean it. At dinner time, they would like to share a can of coke or pour some out of a bottle. They always fight for their share. One might complain, “You’ve got more than me!” But the other refutes, “It’s not fair!” (We have heaps of coke in our fridge usually.)
Long before I heard the term of “sibling rivalry”, that’s the jealousy and competition between brothers and sisters fundamentally. Sibling rivalry is a common and difficult issue for many families. Both parents and children feel distressed and angry if they cannot find a solution. If too many unresolved conflicts among siblings, it could turn into a violent case as such (via Dad Talk).
Here are some major reasons of sibling rivalry, although there are many other factors:
- Children feel treated unfair by parents or by other siblings.
- They think/feel that they don’t get the best and/or fair part.
- They feel neglected by parents.
- They see/feel parents showing favoritism over the other sibling.
- Siblings don’t know how to go along with each other.
A Win-Win Solution
Over a few times of fighting, to resolve their fight over coke, my husband suggested that one should do the pouring coke into two identical cups, and let the other choose first. It works for my kids amazingly. No bad feelings again! No favouritism perceived. It’s a win-win solution to both of them. If they fight again, they know what to do now - find a win-win solution.
What would you do? Any other ways to solve the problem?
Related articles:
Tips for Resolving Sibling Conflicts (Part 1)