Some children whose primary love language is acts of service would be very sensitive to what their parents do for them. They may not remember everything that their parents did for them, especially those acts of feeding or changing diapers when they were babies. But they would remember some specific incidents that their parents helped them:

Melanie, fourteen, is the oldest of four children. “I know my parents love me because they do so many things for me. Mom made my costume for the school drama; in fact, she made costumes for two other people too. That made me really proud of her. Dad has always helped me with my homework, and this year he has really put in some time on my algebra. I couldn’t believe he could remember all that stuff.”

Dr. Chapman points out that parenting itself is a service-oriented vocation. The primary motivation of serving our children is not to please them, but to do what is best.

Tips for making the most out of service:

1. Acts of service cannot be taken as a way of manipulating our children although younger children desire our gifts and services. Don’t be tempted to say something like this, “If you don’t listen to me, I won’t do this for you.”

2. Take caution: Too much gifts and too much service, our children can remain childishly self-centered and become selfish. Having said that, this caution should not keep us from using the love language of service and gifts in appropriate ways.

3. All our service should be done appropriate to age. For example, we make beds for four-year-olds but not for ten-year-olds. When they are ready, we teach them how to serve themselves and then others.

4. We have to understand that everyone has different aptitudes and abilities.

5. Don’t fall into the trap forcing our children to be replicas of us, or fulfil the dreams we never accomplished for ourselves. The purpose is to help our children develop their own skills to their best they can.

6. Loving service is a gift, not a necessity, not under coercion. Even for the best parents, it’s wise to have an attitude check now and then.

Take care of yourself
To speak this love language, you need physical and emotional energy. So pay attention to your own physical and emotional health.

Related articles:
Know How to Speak the Love Language

How to Speak Love Language#1 Physical Touch

How to Speak Love Language #2 Words of Affirmation

How to Speak Love Language #3 Quality Time

How to Speak Love Language #4 Gifts

Why I Chose The Five Love Languages

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 at 12:13 am and is filed under 0-02 yrs: Baby, 02-03 yrs: Toddler, 03-05 yrs: Preschooler, 05-12 yrs: Schooler, 13-18 yrs: Teenager, Behavior, Communication, How-to Tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.