MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years will be miserable years for a family.

REALITY: Teens do have to separate from their parents and families. That’s good - otherwise kids would be living at home when they are 35.

They do, however, have to earn the privilege of being in charge.

MYTH: Once teens rebel, you have lost them forever.

REALITY: This is the fear of every parent, but it doesn’t happen in most cases. As the proverb says, “Raise up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.”

Two very important factors are implied here:

1) At some point, it is likely they could “depart” from what you have taught, and

2) they will come back to it.

This notion is elaborated on in Miller Newton’s book “Adolescence: Surviving the Perilous Journey.” Miller calls this notion Withdrawal - Isolation - Re-emergence. His view is that all adolescents withdraw, and some will go so far as to isolate themselves. They will, however, re-emerge at some point. Part of the parents’ job then is to maintain the connection so a relationship can exist when they re-emerge.

MYTH: Raising teens is easy if you do it right.

REALITY:

Read the rest of this entry »

All children will likely have many different health problems during infancy and childhood: the flu, chicken pox, broken bones, stitches, ear infections, to name a few. For most children, these problems are mild ? they come and go without incident and with little disruption in a child’s daily life or routine. A chronic long-term medical problem is different and often doesn’t come alone, as children with serious medical illnesses are at risk of developing associated emotional problems. Learning to live with a chronic medical condition can be very challenging for a child, for parents, and for siblings and friends, and can lead to feelings of anger, fear and depression.

The way children react to diagnosis with a chronic illness depends on several factors, including the child’s personality, the specific illness, family emotional dynamic, and the child’s age and emotional maturity.

A smaller child may react aggressively as they begin to cope with changes in schedule due to hospital visits and all the new found pampering, and special attention. In usual development, young children are beginning to assert their sense of independence. Dealing with their illness may challenge their developing self-image and cause the child to feel out of control of their world.

Read the rest of this entry »

Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average college student takes 5.3 years to earn a 4-year Bachelor’s degree. Other data included that college retention is mediocre at best with a national average around 50%. In Indiana, research reveals that for every 100 ninth grade students, only 21 will graduate with a bachelor’s degree within 6 years. Read more about this disturbing trend and a viable solution at www.processspecialist.com/youth.htm

How Much More for the 6-Year Plan?

Depending upon the state and the type of post-secondary institution such as private or state, the 6 year plan can increase college costs anywhere from $5,000 to $70,000 using data from the U.S. Department of Education for the 2002-03 academic year. Avoiding the 6-year plan really makes sense, as these costs do not include books, additional fees, and any other supplemental expenses.

Why Has This Happened?

There are several key reasons for this national and state trend. First, many young people do not know what their desired major is. With a curriculum that is a mile wide and an inch deep, young people may not have the school time to adequately explore their interests.

Second, many young people do not plan for the challenges that they will

Read the rest of this entry »

Most of us when asked what we want our children to become, we include “responsible” among other things such as happy, fulfilled and caring. We want our children to learn to make wise choices, be responsible for their actions and live responsibly.

Do we teach children to become responsible by simply giving them chores to do? That’s part of it for sure but only part of it. What about learning to be responsible for their actions? What kind of messages do we give out that either encourage or discourage a child to become responsible? How are we at taking responsibility for our actions?

Expecting children to participate in the running of the household can begin as soon as they learn to walk. It simply makes a statement that they are a valued member of the household and are capable of making a contribution. We can start by providing hooks at their level so they can hang up their coats, by providing large plastic bins so toys can be easily accessed and put away, and by providing plastic dinnerware so they can clear their own dishes away. The older children become, responsibilities can be added according to what you’re comfortable with and what

Read the rest of this entry »

O.K. I’ve heard it a hundred times from my prison guard friends, “I don’t believe that there is such a thing as ADD. It’s only something made up from the drug companies to drug our children.” They know because they read an article in a magazine, or saw a show on TV once. I guess they also believe in aliens in government, and that Elvis still lives somewhere in Oklahoma.

Look, there are lots of physical differences between the actual brains of people with ADD and those who don’t have it, and there are also functional differences in the way that their brains work. And there are lots of scientists and physicians who are investing lots of time and money into identifying and writing about those differences. Just because their research is too boring to make the Morning Show on TV doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist, or isn’t true.

The Functional Differences include studies with EEGs, Q-EEGs, CPTs, psychological testing, and “functional” MRIs (fMRI). They showed differences in activation levels of various areas of the brain, differences in brainwave patterns, and differences in glucose metabolism (as measure of brain work load) between ADHD subjects and non-ADHD subjects. They also

Read the rest of this entry »

Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and down outside the labor room and would be admitted only after the birth. Modern practice is to assume the dad-to-be should be at the birth to offer support. But an increasing number of dads, moms and midwives would prefer he stayed outside.

Some of the reasons given are:

Some moms feel the loss of dignity and ‘not feeling attractive’ is sufficient reason to banish their partners to the corridor.

Some dads think the sight of baby being born will put them off sex with their partner in the future. Others can’t bear to see their partner in pain.

Researchers at the University of Toronto suggest that women have a happier childbirth if they are supported by a trained woman rather than a stressed father-to-be. This woman could be your mother, a friend who’s had a baby of her own or a doula (a professional female birth partner); her presence can have a calming effect on the mom-to-be.

Most men, however, do want to be present and, after all, the baby is half theirs. Get it right and the man’s help can prove to be invaluable and many couples find it is an incredibly bonding experience.

Advice

Read the rest of this entry »

At first I thought of titling this article “The Lazy Parent’s Guide” but then I realized that most parents aren’t lazy, but they may have a slightly different philosophy about children and learning.

If you’re a big reader yourself or if you’re homeschooling, you’re probably concerned about how to teach your child to read. Reading is one of the most important skills a person can learn, and a great joy in life.

My laid-back methods of teaching a child to read:

1) Be a reader yourself

Children naturally want to copy adult behavior. If your kids see you often with your nose in a book, they will probably begin to wonder what is so interesting about this activity.

2) Read to your kids

This is probably a huge no-brainer. Read to your kids early and often. And don’t read in order to “teach your child how to read”. I believe that the best way to teach your child to read is to NOT teach your child to read!

Read to your child because you enjoy it and it’s fun. Some forward-thinking education experts believe that the teaching of reading is mostly what prevents reading. After all, don’t adults read as a means to an end? Because they

Read the rest of this entry »

Kitchens are where everything happens. It’s not just where meals are prepared ? it’s usually the hub of the home, where family and friends get together to spend time. Cooking and eating together is about more than nutrition for the body. It’s also the experience of connecting and interacting with family members, to feed relationships. Try to choose one meal that everyone comes to the table. It doesn’t have to be dinner. This is a challenge as everyone has their own activities (especially as children grow), but starting early promotes the importance of family time together, and also demonstrates a healthy attitude towards food and eating.

Socializing

? Children love playing with simple pots, pans and wooden spoons. Give them some to play with, or buy them their own play set

? If you’re in the kitchen they want to be there too. Find a place that’s safe, but also allows you to engage with them

? When eating, have them sit at the table in age appropriate high chairs and booster seats

? Interact with children at mealtimes, even when just starting on solid food

? Create a stress fee feeding environment for your baby

Teaching

There are many lessons to be learned in the kitchen. You

Read the rest of this entry »

When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household, my entire world was transformed into a warzone and funfare at the same time. He became the focus of my attention throughout the entire day and I live to make sure he is alright. I made sure his food contained just the right amount of nutrients, helped stimulated him with playtime, read to him, slept with him.

You see, offering cuddles and hugs is not the usual reward or privilege we got when me and my siblings were kids. Infact, it was quite unheard of. Sure, we had the usual dosages of “Good girl” and a hug but me and my parents never hugged as much as I hug with my kid. We can even go into a hug-athon when we want to. Hugging, kissing, hugging, kissing, hugging….etc.

Sleeping with my child came naturally to me and my husband. It felt so good to hold his hand or drape a careless arm over his tummy while we slumber. It’s so comfortable and proves to be a suitable and close-to-perfect setting for us.

Sure, I was warned about not being able to make him sleep in his own bed later on and stuffs but

Read the rest of this entry »

There are several treatment options available to help improve the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Since there is no prescription medicine that can “cure” for ADHD, the various medical interventions seek to improve symptoms. The most commonly used medicines are stimulants, such as Ritalin, Dexedrine, Cylert, and ADDerall. Stimulants have been around for about 50 years. Overall, they work very well. Ritalin and Dexedrine are moderately beneficial, or very beneficial, for about 70% to 75% of those who try them.

Stimulants work by increasing both blood flow and the levels of Dopamine in the brain, especially the frontal lobes where the brain’s Executive Functions take place. They also increase the inhibitory systems of the brain by enhancing Serotonin and Norepinepherine levels. They do not work by having some mystical “opposite effect” on children.
There is an unbelievable amount of research done on children and Ritalin, less with Dexedrine, ADDerall, and Cylert. We have heard that Ritalin is the most widely studied medication prescribed to children in the world, and we would not dispute that claim. It seems that every doctoral candidate writing his dissertation for psychology does something with Ritalin.

Stimulants, whether Ritalin or the amphetamines such as Dexedrine

Read the rest of this entry »